May 25th....IUI number 8....or 7....I cant remember....

Tomorrow is the day....another try at this baby making thing! :) So, because I am closely monitored at the fertility clinic, I know my folicles and their sizes.....typical is 1-2....I have 4....yes, I said it....FOUR!!!!!! A good measurement is from 18-21......really, anything over 18 is good, and obviously the bigger the better....so, what are the sizes you may ask....well, 17, 20, 21 and 26!!!!!!!!!!!!! Wow....I am extatic...plus, this is day 14....yes, that is right....I surged on my own on day 14!

So....think of me, pray for me tomorrow morning....Monday, May 25th.....at 9:15am. That is when the IUI happens.....and I pray....I PRAY this happens for us this month.

Day 11...

So, yesterday was day 11 for me. Went in for my normal blood work and ultrasound and to my surprise I have a folicle at 19!! 19....yes, I said NINE-TEEN!!!!!! Already!! Normally my folicles are barely at 19 on day 19....this is good....really good, I hope. I am trying not to get too excited, but I am staying hopeful. However, there is another half to me....the evil half who always sees the glass as half empty.....the doubtful half.

Maybe a vacation will do me good.....

to my dear friend...you know who you are...what people say and do to us sucks. The amount of anger we have to unleash at times sucks. but just know that i am right in this journey with you and will deflate whatever tires need deflating in the middle of the night. love you S.

another negative result.

Well, another let down. Another unsuccessful month. This whole process sure is draining!! Emotionally and physically. I was feeling so positive this month....everything seemed to go well. Everything seemed to be in place and good and right. Mentally I was even prepared for a positive result. Oh well....what can I do about it?? Absolutely nothing!!!

So, I went to the clinic yesterday for my beta, which ended up being my day 3 bloodwork. How is that possible?? This is now the second cycle that I have had an early period.....11 days after the insemination....that isnt right....is there something wrong?? I assume maybe a progesterone issue?? So, does that mean more drugs....more shots?? I guess at this point in the game, what is one more shot, right? What is one more pill? UGH......never in my life did I imagine this fulfilling of a dream would be so difficult!!! I never once thought I'd have a problem conceiving. I thank the Lord everyday to have blessed me with a patient, understanding husband who is WITH me on this journey....supportive, kind, emotional.....just very much a part of the whole process. Thank you Lord for that!!

Anyway, I guess that is it. I am now on drugs for a few days and I go in on tuesday for my day 10 blood and ultrasound. I guess that will be fun? Oh to live a day in my life!!

One down, one to go....

Soooo....after a 23 day cycle I surged.....on my own too!!! Yippee!! So I was inseminated on tuesday, April 28th and again on the 29th. There was a low sperm count on the first day so we "did a double"...hehe....that is fertility lingo. Anyway, I am now one week into the waiting. I hate this part. The first week goes by quickly. Then, starts the second week. It is a week of torture. Do I act as though I'm pregnant? Do I let myself think that cramp in my stomach is the fetus attaching? Do I let myself think that little twinge of sickness in the morning is because I'm expecting or because I am hungry when I wake up?

Ugh, I hate this part! I dread the call from the clinic on the day of the beta. I always hope to hear a great, enthusiastic "congratulations, you're pregnant" but then am hit with disappointment.....time after time. This time does feel different to me....it really does. It feels like such a possibility to me, it is a little bit exhillerating. Just a few bits of date related triggers.....I would find out right around mothers day. Also, my due date would be about the 12th of January....which is my dad's birthday. Wouldnt that be neat?!

Anyway, I know ultimately it isnt up to me.....but I really feel it could be time.....God has prepared me, and Nader and us as a couple. I truely have my trust in Him, just find the patience part of it hard to deal with.

Well, let the waiting continue......