Day Two of blogging.....

Ok....so this is my second day in a row. Now, I will say it is late at night, so this may not be a long one, but I guess every entry counts....right?!

So, yesterday turned out to be a tough day for me. I think by the end of the night, I cried myself to sleep. The whole experience of losing a child has been traumatic for me. We've waited so long, and had the dream as such a tangible thing, sitting in the palm of our hands.....and then in one moment it was taken away. That was hard. Very hard. What happend yesterday made it yet a bit harder. I had blood work done in the morning. You see, when you miscarry, the clinic monitors when your HcG levels get back to zero....back to normal....back to square one. Well, yesterday they told me everything was back at that first square.....that was hard to hear. Now, the good side of that is that we can now move forward and start the process again. The bad side is that it was a sign that I need to move forward. That is hard for me to understand. But, what can I do about it? What's done is done. I have to trust that God will see me through this.

How is my faith you may ask? Well, I have to say, it is the thing that makes me able to get up in the morning. I don't know what I would do without knowing that something bigger is taking care of me. What would the purpose of each day be? What would be the point of my life? I know that my God is bigger than any medical issue I face, or any amount of depression I deal with. That is something awesome about me and my life. Maybe I don't share my faith enough, maybe I don't talk about my Saviour on a regular basis....but, this is what I know.....I know I have a Saviour who loves me and has his hand on my life. And, I know that without my faith, I wouldn't be where I am today. And quite honestly, I wouldnt want to be anywhere else right now.

Anyway, God bless you all....and please do me a favor....look at your heart......look at your life...are you where you want to be? Are you living the life you know you should be? Where does your faith lie?